TeeVee: The Bachelor Brad, Take 2, Episode 3
The Bachelor Brad (Mondays at 8PM on ABC)
Favorite quotes from last night's episode:
"I'm gonna make sure that Brad kisses me today." - Ashley S.
"I am so sick and tired of spending my dates with other women." - Michelle
"This date will show which of these women can get down and dirty" - Brad
"Pit stains... are not hot." - Alli
"When I kiss Brad, I'm going to give him like a sensual, sexy, slippery, kiss... fireworks." - Michelle
"I achieved everything I wanted to do... Ok, listen, it's like this, all you ladies need to pack your bags… He is mine... I'm going to be the one who ends up with Brad anyways... It will just be me and Brad in Tahiti practicing making babies." - Michelle
"The best way to describe Emily... is she's like this itsy-bitsy Barbie doll, with the soul of Mother Teresa. So you want to hate her, but you can't." - Meghan
"I am so sick and tired of spending my dates with other women." - Michelle
"This date will show which of these women can get down and dirty" - Brad
"Pit stains... are not hot." - Alli
"When I kiss Brad, I'm going to give him like a sensual, sexy, slippery, kiss... fireworks." - Michelle
"I achieved everything I wanted to do... Ok, listen, it's like this, all you ladies need to pack your bags… He is mine... I'm going to be the one who ends up with Brad anyways... It will just be me and Brad in Tahiti practicing making babies." - Michelle
"The best way to describe Emily... is she's like this itsy-bitsy Barbie doll, with the soul of Mother Teresa. So you want to hate her, but you can't." - Meghan
Okay... but let's add some context, shall we? Let's recap.
Harrison comes in to drop off the first date card and to tell the girls that it will only get harder from here on in. Apparently the loss of drama queens Raichel and Melissa had quite the impact.
Anywho... the first solo date goes to Ashley S. She didn't have a date last week, even though Brad gave her the First Impression Rose. SO of course, she's super excited to get a one-on-one, even if it involves singing.
"I'm gonna make sure that Brad kisses me today." - Ashley S.
Brad comes to pick her up and they head over to Capital Records to lay down a track... "Kiss from a Rose" by Seal. Of course, they're both incredibly bad. The poor sound engineer was cringing and obviously wishing he called in sick that day, while we got a charming story from Ashley about how much this song meant to her and her deceased dad.
Photo Credit - ABC
But she doesn't tell Brad, until much later. First they had a cute cuddling session while they got to hear Seal perform the song, plus one of his new ones. (Does ABC have a contract saying a recording artist must be featured in each date episode. Train, now Seal?)
Photo Credit - ABC
After that, it was a rooftop dinner and champagne, where giggly Ashley got serious and told him about her dad's death and how she thinks he was there singing with them today. Brad eats it up and gives her the rose. The two dance and then finally kiss.
Brad tries to convince us he's really into Ashley S. because she makes him feel comfortable, but I have a feeling Ashley S. is heading to the dreaded "friend zone". It's just the vibe I get with them; Ashley S. seems immature to me when she's with Brad, and I think he wants someone more confident. But who knows, I could be reading it completely wrong.
Back at Casa Bachelorette, the next date card arrives and Michelle is hoping her name is clumped with a bunch of others. To my delight, it is. The group date includes Lindsay, Shawntel, Alli, Britt, Kimberly, Sarah, Chantal, Ashley H, Lisa, Stacey, Marissa and Michelle.
"I am so sick and tired of spending my dates with other women." - Michelle
The rest of the girls seem fairly excited as they jump into the cars to meet Brad at some studio lot, where he tells them they'll be shooting an action-adventure movie together.
"This date will show which of these women can get down and dirty" - Brad
As the girls line-up for Brad's introduction, there's an explosion and a bunch of "bad" guys come out to take Brad down. Good thing he had a shovel nearby.
Photo Credit ABC
Then the girls get to practice, and we get a montage of the action scenes. Alli was only worried about one thing.
"Pit stains... are not hot." - Alli
Chantal really wanted to stand out, and was hoping her action-acting skills would put her on top, but it was Shawntel that really caught Brad's eye, or um, tongue.
Photo Credit ABC
The numerous takes of the make-out session had Michelle hiding behind her hair and ranting in the interview session...
"When I kiss Brad, I'm going to give him like a sensual, sexy, slippery, kiss... fireworks." - Michelle
And then we cut back to Brad carrying Shawntel away from an exploding building... and they make-out again. Fireworks don't hold a candle up to an exploding building, or something... right Shawntel?
Photo Credit - ABC
The girls extend their date up at the rooftop pool "wrap party". They all jump in, and then the battle of one-on-one time (and best crying) begins.
Chantal gets some time with him and almost immediately starts tearing up. She tells him it's getting hard for her because every time she starts feeling special with him, someone comes in a ruins it. Somehow the conversation turns and Chantal tells him how she lost touch with her biological dad for about 15 years, but when she finally decided to get back in contact, she found out he passed away shortly before. Now she lives for today, not for tomorrow. This clearly hits a cord with Brad, who also doesn't really talk to his dad. Plus these two both admit to feeling some serious physical chemistry with each other... They kiss.
Speaking of physical chemistry, that's what Alli wants to talk about. Or the lack of it in her previous relationship. Kind of an awkward conversation starter, but it doesn't really get to go anywhere since crazy Michelle is tired of not getting her rightful time with Brad. She comes in and stands tapping her fingers on the bar in the corner of the room while Alli tries to continue the conversation. This, of course, doesn't work and Brad excuses himself to have a chat with Michelle. Alli complains to the girls, and they make fun of her.
Michelle uses her manipulative abilities by laying some guilt on the Bachelor, about missing her daughter and how she's feeling selfish, but knows that she's doing to right thing because she feels something for him, yadda yadda yadda. This works on Brad, and they make-out. NO fireworks were visible.
After that, Brad picks up the Rose and heads to give it to someone... Shawntel! Who was waiting a whole elevator ride away in her towel. It was kind of an awkward "scene", however, I'm guessing the two just had a good one-on-one talk we weren't privee to, due to editing. She accepts and they kiss. Michelle is obviously very upset that she didn't get the rose after their talk/kiss.
As the group date was wrapping up, the last date card arrived and it's for Emily. Emily seems much more nervous than excited and then the girls find out why.
Emily tells her background story. The tragic death of the love of her life in a plane crash. How she was supposed to be on the plane, but didn't feel good and went through the darkest moments of her life the following week, where she wished she was on the plane, only to find out that she was pregnant. Now she's so grateful to have her 5 year old daughter.
It brings the other bachelorettes, and myself to tears (even though I heard the story before). She knows she has to tell Brad, but she also knows that most guys head for the hills after hearing it.
So Brad comes to pick her up, and calls her stunning as she stands in a little floral romper and cardigan, which prompts Meghan to say this...
"The best way to describe Emily... is she's like this itsy-bitsy Barbie doll, with the soul of Mother Teresa. So you want to hate her, but you can't." - Meghan
The first leg of the date included a small airplane ride. PERFECT. To Emily's credit, she sucked it up, got in and didn't let it break her down... then came the ride in a cool roadster to the vineyard.
Photo Credit ABC
Then came one of the most awkward date conversations... ever! Brad tried to get to know Emily, but she side-stepped most questions, and then deflected them back on him. Even when the topic of her last (and only) significant relationship came up, Emily just couldn't get her story out... Which had Brad really worried that Emily had too many walls to continue their relationship.
Photo Credit - ABC
But luckily, Emily had another chance as the two sat down for dinner. She was finally able to get everything out on the table as she rehashed the story for Brad. And Brad got her talking about her daughter, which really helped Emily feel more at ease (plus the shaky sips of wine she took, poor girl!). The girl gets the rose, and some kissing.
THERAPY SESSION?!
Brad's "therapist" while shooting comes in to talk to Brad about the week. I'm not digging this. If anyone gets to talk with Brad about his week, it should be Harrison. BUT, his "therapist" tells him to make the girls comfortable, so they'll spill their guts and he can make deeper connections with them. Basically, he told him he needs to act like a "therapist".
Photo Credit - ABC
COCKTAIL PARTY!!
Again, it's all about getting some one on one time with Brad. Most notable.
1. Chantal & Brad - the two cozy up under a blanket, Brad apologizes to her about not giving her everything she needed and the two talk about their overwhelming physical chemistry, again... before being interrupted by...
Photo Credit - ABC
2. Michelle & Brad - he says "she can steal him away any day of the week", but I think that may be pre-maturely spoken. She tells him that they're "in a fight" because she found out he kissed Chantal and Shawntel after he kissed her on the group date and how she wants him all to herself and doesn't want to hear about the other girls bouts with him.
Photo Credit - ABC
He finds her witty and playful... we see her as bat-sh!t crazy and first degree stalker material.
3. Ashley H. & Brad - she's feeling insecure about his feelings towards her, since she didn't get a date this week (after their "amazing" first date). He tries to convince her, but it was clearly written all over her face that she wasn't convinced. He walks away, but comes back to kiss her in front of the fire. That gives her enough to be confident about, for a little while anyway.
4. Madison & Brad - she takes out her fangs over his weak pleas not to, then tells him that ever since hearing Emily's story, she feels like she could possibly be taking a rose away from a girl that has "put her heart on the line". He tells her to stick it out, and that she could always turn down the rose if it's offered.
Photo Credit - ABC
ROSE CEREMONY
So Ashley S., Shawntel and Emily already received roses, which leaves 11 roses to give out, and 3 women to send home in the rejecto-limo.
Michelle gets the first rose (and shows how easy men are to manipulate), followed by Chantal (that shows how a man's penis gets first dibs on soul mate choices).
Then Madison walks out. Brad excuses himself to follow her. She tells him she'd have "a really hard time taking a rose from one of these girls" and he doesn't believe that she doesn't feel a connection with him. He tells her he commends her for walking away, and that's just what she does.
For me, Madison came on the show for fun. Thought she'd maybe meet a good guy, have fun on some crazy dates/locations, see herself on television and maybe get some more modelling gigs out of it. But then she grew a conscience; she realized there were girls that came on here in hopes of actually falling in love and she freaked a bit. I'm actually proud of her that she took herself out, instead of chalking it up to selfish face-time.
I'm not sure she would have gotten a rose this week from Brad, but it doesn't much matter, does it?
Back to the roses... Lisa, Jackie, Ashley H., Marissa, Britt, Alli, Lindsay, Meghan and Stacey all get roses. Which leaves out Sarah and Kimberly. Which makes me 1 for 3 this week. (Check out my rankings here...)
Kimberly went the "angry" route in her post-interview, telling us that "some guys find her hot"... while poor Sarah sat with mascara pooling under her eye, with the "sad, uncontrollable crying, no one is ever going to love me" route.
Photo Credit - ABC
Next week it looks like the rivalry between Michelle and Chantal comes to a climax... does Michelle have a black eye?! AND did she imply that Chantal gave it to her? Plus... looks like Ashley H. gets a bit drunky-drunk during a group date and goes into stalker-mode. We'll see how things turn out, next Monday.
