Bachelor Pad 8/22/11
Bachelor Pad, Synchronized Swimming & A Butt-Load of Bickering
Poor Blake had to endure the wrath of a Melissa-scorned at the top of the episode, but I don't feel sorry for him one bit. Although Melissa is crazy, he knew that before he decided to play her. He tried to apologize, but Melissa rebuffed him vowing to take him out. Then she questioned Holly about her intentions. Holly's answer "I flirt with everyone… it's my nature". The only thing that's reassuring for Blake is that Jake's still around and he's a bigger target than he is…
ROSE CHALLENGE – SYNCHRONIZED SWIMMING
They'll have to learn a synchronized swimming routine and perform it. The best of the ladies and the best of the guys will win the rose this week. The ladies' practice was in deed a "hot mess" (thanks Melissa) and we learned that Princess Erica doesn't know how to dive. The guys, however, took this challenge incredibly serious and showed some skill.When it was time to perform for the judges (Olympic Gold Medalist Karen Rosolowski and Bachelor Pad 1 winners Dave & Natalie) the ladies donned floral head gear and some oddly placed flowers on their bikinis (apparently Bachelor Pad doesn't have the same wardrobe stylists as DWTS), while the guys skimmed down to some banana-hammocks.
The ladies went first and they were an absolute cringe-worthy trainwreck. Vienna thought she had it on lock because she practiced so hard and had the "most difficult part" in the routine. They (Michelle & Holly) decided to throw in a kiss at the end in hopes of swaying the judges, but since the judges aren't 12 year old boys, it got them nothing.
The judges decided that…
MICHELLE & MIKE WIN THE ROSES!
Vienna instantly pouts and Jake starts really worrying about his fate. Then we got a good solid half-hour of bickering and buttering-up.
Jake seeks out Erica and makes a play to switch her to his side through some ick-tastic flirting and it totally works. Next up, is Melissa who seems to have seen past Vienna's stories to see that Jake is "really nice".
Then, we get a tiny phrase uttered out of Vienna's mouth that caused 10 minutes of TV time all for bickering (I'm sure it lasted much longer than that in person – Glad I wasn't there). She told Jake that he "did a good job" in a nice and cordial manner and Kasey freaked out. Vienna has been making him be a douche to the guy since they've gotten to the house, so he doesn't appreciate that she was just nice to him. Vienna brings up the "You're suppose to protect me" line (and dang, if I wasn't pregnant, I'd be playing a drinking game to that and be totally hammered by the end of each episode!). He suggests she could have "another public break-up on TV", calls her a "fame-whore" in an interview and then tells her "I get that he physically and mentally abused you, or whatever – that was a year ago. Get over it!" What a nice guy, that Kasey. But maybe it's Vienna's craziness that makes "nice guys" go looney. They end up hugging it out and going on to pretend that it was just a little tiff and everything is hunky-dory.
DATES
Michelle decides to take Graham, Blake & Kasey on her wine-tasting date. Michelle quickly pulls Blake aside to warn him that he might be going home if he doesn't make amends with Melissa. Later, Michelle pulls Graham aside to try to get him to open up and then make-out with her. She got one of the two, as she's hoping there's a possibility of a future with Graham (Graham on the other hand seems too resistant for this to actually happen). She gives Graham the Safety Rose.
Michael decides to bring Ella & Vienna because they haven't been out of the pad yet, and then of course, Holly on his horseback riding date. Vienna, unsurprisingly, complains the whole time… she doesn't want to wear the helmet, she's sweaty, she really doesn't want to wear the helmet… Ella was basically invisible during the date, except for the fact that Vienna's complaining irks her just as much as it does me.
The real story here is the one between Mike and his former fiancée Holly. Holly seems to want to distance herself from Mike, at least according to her confession-interviews, but that's not what she shows Mike. While she's telling us that "deep down I don't think we're supposed to be together, because I don't think relationships are supposed to be this hard" she telling Mike that "I keep wanting to, like, touch you." It's no wonder Mike is falling back in love with her. It seems as if she's holding the door open for him, waiting until he gets one foot over the threshold again, before she slams it back shut. It's actually kind of hard to watch. Mike gives Holly the Saftey Rose and the two get to hang with Brett Michaels and listen to him play "Every Rose Has it's Thorn" before returning to the pad.
Meanwhile, Jake has been attempting to rally the lower tier (Blake & William) against Viennsey through logic: This is the time to stage a coup, otherwise you're easy pickings, but it doesn't seem to jive fully with the boys. Jake and Erica talk again about the possible take-over and end up in an awkward-to-watch kiss.
Then, we had to witness Kasey trying to do something nice for his girlfriend Vienna on their 6-month anniversary. He brings out a ring box during his monologue and Vienna freaks that it might be an engagement ring, which in turn makes Kasey freak (because so what if it was?!)… but alas, it was just a "promise ring" placed rightfully on the finger I'm sure will be used when the two eventually break-up (aka the middle finger). Then we heard Kasey sing a song to his "forever" girl. Seriously, does he not know what his voice sounds like?! But Vienna lurrrrrves it.
So who are the names being thrown around for elimination? Naturally, Jake for the guys, and Melissa for the girls. In order to make sure this was the case, Erica spied on Jake & Melissa talking and came back telling everyone they were in cahoots!
Mike tells Melissa what Erica said, which sends Melissa off the deep end and no one wants to deal with her… except, JAKE! He comforts her and gets her to stay in the game in hopes of using her to keep himself in the game saying "She wants to be loved and accepted more than she wants $250,000".
Harrison comes in moments later to tell everyone that the ladies are safe this week, and only 1 guy will be going home after the whole house votes. There 13 votes up for grabs, so Team Jake needs to get 7 in order for him to stay and Kasey to get out. The power couples vote quickly against him though (Vienna-Kasey, Mike-Holly, and Michelle-Graham). With votes from Jake, Erica, Melissa and seemingly Blake and William, the two swing votes were Ella and Kirk.
Viennsey find out midway through the vote that Kasey's a target, spearheaded by Jake and Erica. Vienna decides to confront Erica by saying how close she was with Kasey, but Erica doesn't even bat an eye.
In the closest vote in Bachelor Pad history (really, Harrison, really?!) it was down to Kasey vs. Jake. And right as Harrison calls out KASEY, the screen cuts to black with the threat that Jake made to take down "several" players before climbing into the rejecto-limo. I guess we'll see if it was all talk or what…
And for the love of all that is holy, please ABC, do NOT create "Synchronized Swimming with the Stars", I beg of you.
