MickeyAll I Know, I Learned From Watching TV
The local PBS stations are usually referred to as "Educational TV." Thing is, we can all learn a little something from virtually any TV show- granted, maybe not what they were wanting us to learn. Here, then, is a short, randomly-selected list of the Things I've Learned From Television:
The important news is usually in the crawl.
In space you can still hear practically everything.
Colors are far more deep and vivid in Miami than any other city with a CSI lab.
NEVER say "What can possibly go wrong?" The universe tends to take such questions as a personal challenge. (Same goes for "How can things possibly get any worse?")
In fact, just standing next to someone saying these things can be hazardous to your lifespan.
If you don't care your mercenaries can't hit a target five feet away with four machine guns and a half ton of bullets; you just want to put a smile on the ghost of Rube Goldberg... then yes, maybe you can hire The A-Team.
Car tires always squeal when you take off in a hurry- even on a dirt road.
Glass-topped tables are bad news- before the hour is up something- most likely someone- will be thrown through it.
There's a big difference between hiring a Technical Advisor, and actually listening to him.
You can get to be the ace reporter for a major metropolitan newspaper even if you're so inobservant that you can't even recognize your own partner if he takes off his glasses.
Then again, no one in Smallville ever seems to take notice of Clark flaunting his powers.
When finding some injured and near death, strike a dramatic pose and look concerned for a minute or two before calling for paramedics.
If all the cages in the biology lab are torn open, and fragments of the researchers are strewn around, I'm forgetting the mission orders to find out what happened and finding the nearest exit pretty damned pronto!!
Radiation causes superpowers. Okay, sometimes sickness, and more often growing to giant proportions, but usually superpowers.
The same government that can't hide the slightest hint of scandal in the White House can still keep secret deep, dark conspiracies that span the entire globe for centuries- or even millennia.
Any DNA that enters your body will alter your cellular structure in mere minutes- an hour or so, tops.
When a blue Police Box is there that wasn't there yesterday, get out of town now- or, at least, up your insurance.
If someone actually needs to be reminded to run away from the alligator/monster/psycho killer, just forget them- they're the one stupid enough they wind up getting other people killed.
The important news is usually in the crawl.
In space you can still hear practically everything.
Colors are far more deep and vivid in Miami than any other city with a CSI lab.
NEVER say "What can possibly go wrong?" The universe tends to take such questions as a personal challenge. (Same goes for "How can things possibly get any worse?")
In fact, just standing next to someone saying these things can be hazardous to your lifespan.
If you don't care your mercenaries can't hit a target five feet away with four machine guns and a half ton of bullets; you just want to put a smile on the ghost of Rube Goldberg... then yes, maybe you can hire The A-Team.
Car tires always squeal when you take off in a hurry- even on a dirt road.
Glass-topped tables are bad news- before the hour is up something- most likely someone- will be thrown through it.
There's a big difference between hiring a Technical Advisor, and actually listening to him.
You can get to be the ace reporter for a major metropolitan newspaper even if you're so inobservant that you can't even recognize your own partner if he takes off his glasses.
Then again, no one in Smallville ever seems to take notice of Clark flaunting his powers.
When finding some injured and near death, strike a dramatic pose and look concerned for a minute or two before calling for paramedics.
If all the cages in the biology lab are torn open, and fragments of the researchers are strewn around, I'm forgetting the mission orders to find out what happened and finding the nearest exit pretty damned pronto!!
Radiation causes superpowers. Okay, sometimes sickness, and more often growing to giant proportions, but usually superpowers.
The same government that can't hide the slightest hint of scandal in the White House can still keep secret deep, dark conspiracies that span the entire globe for centuries- or even millennia.
Any DNA that enters your body will alter your cellular structure in mere minutes- an hour or so, tops.
When a blue Police Box is there that wasn't there yesterday, get out of town now- or, at least, up your insurance.
If someone actually needs to be reminded to run away from the alligator/monster/psycho killer, just forget them- they're the one stupid enough they wind up getting other people killed.
Celebrity Obsession
Great list. Young virgins should also beware. If they decide to finally sleep with their boyfriends, they'll probably be hacked to death in a gruesome manner very shortly thereafter.
If you're a little on the plain side and you discover that the hottest guy in school is suddenly paying attention to you, it's probably because he's made a bet with his friends that he can make you into the prom queen. But don't be upset because he will surely fall in love with you anyway and dump his Miss USA type girlfriend.
Kylie
Passionate Apathy